hadiah dari Tuhan

i kinda realised this not too long ago

kalau berdoa, aku prefer berdoa in english. kalau tulis diary, i prefer to write in english. aku tak merendah2kan bahasa melayu.

aku suka bahasa melayu. tapi yang sastera. bahasa melayu lama. bahasa melayu sekarang, kalau aku guna macam agak ceroi. macam tak sampai maksud.

bagi aku la. bahasa melayu aku pun tak elok sangat TTvTT

generally, kalau untuk menerangkan sesuatu konsep or untuk feeling bebanyak, aku rasa aku prefer english. tapi kalau cakap sehari2 aku still guna bahasa melayu.

k.
(imma start this ranting with some background story. feel free to close this tab. thank you.)

sooo, some might had already known this. but, anyways...

i was a degree student. and then i quit. not even midway. like midway of 2nd sem of 6 sems. sekarang di kolej Islam di salah satu negeri kat sini.

before aku masuk kolej tu (i was still a degree student masa tu), my mom and i pegi like tengok2 tempat tu. qadarullah, we met the registrar. so, we kinda sembang2 a bit dengan dia. told her my situation mintak opinion. yada yada. she's so nice. she speaks really good english. sounds so understanding. i made up my mind, imma quit uni life and sambung kat kolej tu.

fast forward, a few weeks ago (after about a month and a half aku start belajar kat sini) my mom met the registrar after solat. they were talking bout me. my mom was quite concern sebab i dont seem to get to learn what i wanna learn here (long story). i joined the conversation tho after that.

anyways, i remember one part of the conversation where she said to me (mafhum)

"i prefer using english. lebih sampai maksud."

i was like

'i know, right.' in my heart tho. i mean, someone finally understands me TTvTT

and we talked a bit more. and she ended up giving me this

hadiah dari Tuhan

this is never from anyone else. not the registrar, not the custodian of the two holy mosque, not anyone but Allah

How can you disbelieve in Allah when you were lifeless and He brought you to life; then He will cause you to die, then He will bring you [back] to life, and then to Him you will be returned.

(albaqarah, 2:28) 

p/s: i'll share bout this verse in other post inshallah.